Month: March 2020

Q & A: Tough Love

Question: In your writings, you speak often of the term “unconditional love”―where would “tough love” fit into that?

Answer: In my opinion, “tough love” can absolutely be considered a form of unconditional love.  How “loving” would it be to indulge a friend or loved one by helping them to be an inferior version of themselves, to be less than their true potential?  To be honest, tough love is the most difficult kind of love because it usually means that we have to stand by and watch someone suffer until they are willing to confront their destructive behavior and embrace their true potential.  To assist someone by helping them to continue in their own self-destruction seems to me to be the opposite of love.

     I’m not suggesting that tough love should be an automatic response to a given situation.  There are many avenues that can be explored first, such as counseling or an intervention, but if someone refuses constructive help, they may need to hit “rock bottom” before they are ready for a constructive approach.

     I think a good question to ask in any given situation is, “Am I helping this person to be constructive in building themselves up, or helping them to be destructive in tearing themselves down?”

     I understand that each situation is unique, so you must follow what you feel is right based on all of the information at your disposal―the mental state, financial concerns, family circumstances, and other miscellaneous variables of the person (or people) involved.  If tough love seems appropriate given the circumstances, know that, in my opinion, it is still love―you love them so much that you’re not going to be an accomplice in their own destructive behaviors.

     Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong, but that’s The Truth as I See It.

Magic Everywhere

     “Every moment there are a million miracles happening around you: a flower blossoming, a bird tweeting, a bee humming, a raindrop falling, a snowflake wafting along the clear evening air. There is magic everywhere. If you learn how to live it, life is nothing short of a daily miracle.”

― Sadhguru, Inner Engineering: A Yogi’s Guide to Joy

Source: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/48881965-inner-engineering-a-yogi-s-guide-to-joy

The Power of Words

     Rarely was the Master so eloquent as when he warned against the bewitching power of words:

     “Beware of the words,” he said, “the moment you look away they will take on a life of their own; they will dazzle, mesmerize, terrorize―lead you astray from the reality they represent―lead you to believe they are real.

     “The world you see is not the Kingdom seen by children but a fragmented world, broken into a thousand pieces by the word … It is as if each ocean wave were seen to be distinct and separate from the body of the ocean.

     “When words and thoughts are silenced the Universe blossoms forth―real and whole and one―and words become what they were always meant to be: the score, not the music; the menu, not the food; the signpost, not journey’s end.”

– Anthony de Mello, One Minute Nonsense

School Lunch

     The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun had posted a note on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

Source: http://www.enlightened-spirituality.org/Spiritual_Humor.html